Relationships and Breast Cancer!

I normally post this story every year during National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but breast cancer touches women everyday, not just during the month of October.

I decided to share my story because I am a proud seven year survivor and I would like to address another aspect of breast cancer…RELATIONSHIPS!

There are many emotions associated with this disease; anxiety, stress, lack of confidence and low self esteem, just to name a few.

Some women are so embarrassed and ashamed because of the physical aspects associated with this disease that they may choose to live in solitude for fear of rejection and ridicule from the opposite sex.

Just the other day, a friend who had recently finished up radiation treatment said to me “How will a man ever want me now? I have such an ugly scar there!”

 I decided to repost my story as I do every year at this time in hope that it will help other women who are or may experience this disease understand that there is life and romance after breast cancer.

Enjoy! 

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After my life altering experience with Breast Cancer…after all the chemo treatments and my hair finally began to grow back…after the radiation that burned and broke down my flesh so badly I couldn’t wear a top for weeks. I was faced with a new dilemma… RELATIONSHIPS!!!

How was I going to tell a man who was interested in me, that I only had one breast?

When I looked in the mirror at my reflection where there used to be two very large, dark, succulent nipples; the right side of my chest now held a new tattoo…an ugly scar where my surgeons’ scalpel had sliced off everything that made me feel a woman…

The first one was the hardest. He couldn’t understand my reluctance to let go…feel free…and revel in intimacy. It wasn’t his fault, he simply didn’t know why I kept my bra on, why I didn’t want to be touched there… I was too ashamed to reveal the ugly truth.

After I finally broke it down, he suprised me. Gently pulling me from my reluctance as he undressed me. I tried to cover myself, push him away, but he saw me, I mean REALLY saw me. Tenderly and lovingly he kissed my new tattoo. I watched his face for any sign of disgust in my new unwanted tattoo. But I only saw the passion and fire in his eyes. He kissed my non-existent breast as if his lips were wrapped around a perfect pair of 36 C’s…

I learned something about myself that day. I was a beautiful woman. I was still as sexy and desirable as I was before I had my perfect globe of flesh amputated.

It took me three years to finally go through with reconstructive surgery. Not because I need it to complete me, but because I got tired of the nuisance of balancing out my body with pads or padded bras, so my clothing would fit right.

Today, I am a better me because of my experience with breast cancer. Thank God, I am 7 years cancer free!!! Through my experience with cancer, I gained a better knowledge about myself. No matter what I have amputated on the outside, I’m still the same on the inside.

Today the scars are barely visible and if I didn’t tell a man about my ordeal, he wouldn’t know…

I have allowed myself to be transparent in hopes that maybe other women will gain some comfort from my story.

                         

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How to Get the Man “You” Want to Marry You!

  Sounds too good to be true? Well it’s not! There is a misconception that men naturally resist commitment. This is so untrue. I have never met a man who wouldn’t commit, yet I receive emails daily from women asking for advice on how to convince their man to commit.

 I get very different reactions from men and women when I tell them I have been married five times and I’ve also had 18 marriage proposals.
Most men are intrigued; they want to know what it is about me that made five men want to make me their wife. Women are curious; they want to know what did I do, and how I did it, in order to get five men to make a commitment to marriage.

I often hear from women who say, “I can’t get one man to marry me, and you’ve had five! Is there something wrong with me? Is there something I’m not doing right?”

Just because you’re not married and have never been proposed to, doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. You may not be aware of what men are looking for when selecting a wife. Half the time, men don’t know what they are looking for in a wife until it’s staring them in the face.

The truth is, most men are not commitment phobic. Fact is, a man will commit when he finds what he’s looking for. He may be with you, but may not want a life long commitment with you. Whereas, he may break up with you and marry the next woman he gets involved with.

I didn’t get five husbands and 18 marriage proposals because I’m cute . . . in fact, I’m quite ordinary in the look’s department.

The men that I’ve been in relationships with usually start discussing marriage within the first three months, without me ever bringing up the subject, dropping hints, or leaving wedding planner guides on the coffee table.

My friends always asked me, “how was I doing it?” Getting a man to commit was never easy for some of them until they used the principles in my book (I Need Therapy) to change their way of thinking. Now most of them are happily married as well!

The key to getting a man to want to make you his wife is quite simple. You must be the woman he wants to marry. You must possess those qualities that he’s looking to find in a wife.

He needs to feel that by getting married to you his life will ultimately improve. Therefore, you need to provide a benefit for him that he wouldn’t have without you.

So, if you’re looking for commitment or marriage, you must be the woman he’s looking for, and you do this by simply working on you. This does not mean to change who you are, and become someone you’re not, but if what you’re doing is not working, then try something different!

In order for a man to see the good in you, someone he’d want to make his wife and share the rest of his life with, you must first see it in yourself. Men are attracted to confident, sexy women. When you love yourself, it shows in everything that you do.

There are several key elements that a man looks for in a wife, (they are all outlined in detail in my book) but the most important thing that will almost always guarantee a husband, is to make your man feel like the man, which for them is the greatest feeling in the world . . . to be recognized and appreciated for who they are, MEN!

You have to know what he wants and needs, and sometimes in order to achieve the results you want, you have to make him feel as if it was his idea.

HAPPY HUNTING LADIES! (Lol)

Chapter excerpt ~ How to Get the Man You Want to Marry You, taken from ~ I Need Therapy

Copyright © 2006 Glenda A. Wallace

 www.glendawallace.com/order.html

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